 |
 |
|||||||||||
 |
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
 |
|
|
|
|||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| January 19, 2002 | ||
| I pulled this off of Morpheus, it was seriously the funniest thing I have seen in a while - Britney Spears - Pamela Anderson (breast comparison). If anyone knows where this came from, please let me know! | ||
| September 6, 2001 | ||
Some fun stuff found while surfing the net...
| ||
| April 7, 2001 | ||
| ||
| February 18, 2001 | ||
Headlines we know we'd all like to see...
| ||
| August 20, 2000 | ||
|
Just thinking back... my all time favorite headline from The Onion: Man With Complete Mama's Family Video Library Never Going On eBay Drunk Again | ||
| June 7, 2000 | ||
|
You can't be serious about banning alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive & makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism. -Mayor Quimby | ||
| March 29, 2000 | ||
|
I thought this was cute...
"While I can't condone geographical slurs, it has come to my attention that East Bay is pig latin for beast."
From some ski magazine that I stole from a cabin we stayed at, here are a sampling of actual ski run names that contain more than their fair share of sexual innuendo...
| ||
| February 28, 2000 | ||
Toasts
LotteryThis guy bursts into the house and yells, "Pack your bags, Honey, I just won the lottery!"She says, "Oh, wonderful! Should I pack for the beach or for the mountains?" He replies, "I don't care....Just get the fuck out!!!"
75th AnniversaryA very elderly couple is having an elegant dinner to celebrate their 75th wedding anniversary. The old man leans forward and says softly to his wife "Dear, there is something that I must ask you. It has always bothered me that our tenth child never quite looked like the rest of our children. Now I want to assure you that these 75 years have been the most wonderful experience I could have ever hoped for, and your answer can not take that all that away. But, I must know, did he have a different father?"The wife drops her head, unable to look her husband in the eye, she paused for moment and then confessed. "Yes. Yes he did." The old man is very shaken, the reality of what his wife was admitting hit him harder than he had expected. With a tear in his eye he asks "Who?.. Who was he? Who was the father?" Again the old woman drops her head, saying nothing at first as she tried to muster the courage to tell the truth to her husband. Then, finally, she says "You".
Of Cows and MermaidsOn a farm out in the country lived a man and a woman and their three sons. Early one morning, the woman awoke, and while looking out of the window onto to the pasture, she saw that the family's only cow was lying dead in the field. The situation looked hopeless to her -- how could she possibly continue to feed her family now?In a depressed state of mind, she hung herself. When the man awoke to find his wife dead, as well as the cow, he too began to see the hopelessness of the situation, and he shot himself in the head. Now, the oldest son woke up to discover his parents dead (and the cow!), and he decided to go down to the river and drown himself. When he got to the river, he discovered a mermaid sitting on the bank. She said, "I've seen all and know the reason for your despair. But if you will have sex with me five times in a row, I will restore your parents and the cow to you." The son agreed to try, but after four times, he was simply unable to satisfy her again. So the mermaid drowned him in the river. Next, the second oldest son woke up. After discovering what had happened, he too decided to throw himself into the river. The mermaid said to him, "If you will have sex with me ten times in a row, I will make everything right." And while the son tried his best (seven times!), it was not enough to satisfy the mermaid, so she drowned him in the river. The youngest son woke up and saw his parents dead, the dead cow in the field, and his brothers gone. He decided that life was a hopeless prospect, and he went down to the river to throw himself in. And there he also met the mermaid. "I have seen all that has happened, and I can make everything right if you will only have sex with me fifteen times in a row." The young son replied, "Is that all? Why not twenty times in a row?" The mermaid was somewhat taken aback by this request. Then he said, "Hell, why not twenty-five times in a row?" And even as she was reluctantly agreeing to his request, he said, "Why not THIRTY times in a row?" Finally, she said, "Enough!! Okay, if you will have sex with me thirty times in a row, then I will bring everybody back to perfect health." Then the young son asked: "Wait! How do I know that thirty times in a row won't kill you like it did the cow?"
Crack a BeerAfter striking gold in the rugged mountains of Alaska, a lonesome miner comes wandering into a nearby saloon. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he says to the bartender."We got her!" comes the reply. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The miner smiles and hands the barkeep a gold nugget. Then he heads upstairs, grabbing two ice-cold bottles of beer on the way. He kicks open the second door on the right and yells, "I'm looking for the meanest, roughest, and toughest whore in the Yukon!" The woman inside growls at the miner and says, "You found her!" So he puts a gold nugget on the bed, and she strips naked, bends over, and grabs her ankles. "How did you know I want to do it in that position?" he asks. "I didn't," replies the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."
THE WORLD ACCORDING TO HOMER SIMPSON |
- Alta
- Alta
- Alta
- Snowbird
.jpg){kind=link}